However, the point I’m making is that this doesn’t mean that anyone has the right or responsibility to control anyone else’s identity — either adding to it or removing from it. In fact, attempting to do that is a form of violence, and can even quickly escalate into spiritual abuse.

In this way, if someone is feeling the importance of keeping his/her identity — indeed, if vocally owning this temptation is part of his/her very recovery process — then it’s wrong to deny that. In fact from within addiction, trying to tell people that they have the status of (for example) “victor in Christ” could give them the internal hubris that leads them to yield to the temptation that this process and counselling were helping protect them from.

Especially concerning issues that are external to our unique individual experiences, we should proceed with caution, being quicker to listen than we are to speak.

One of the biggest concerns that I have with how this labelling issue gets addressed is that it is often treated internally or externally, seldom both.

For example, I don’t know any gay person who would agree with your attempt to dichotomise their identity based on temptation vs action. Even if they remain celibate, gay people still self-identify as gay or same-sex-attracted (the language depends on the individual). In fact, while I appreciate your gentle attempt to remove the pressure of temptation, even this effort could be seen as imposing a further burden — that in order to be a Christian, same-sex-attracted people must deny their reality. (From many perspectives that have been published recently, this is a very real phenomenon.)

So while I am glad when anyone comes to church, there is a huge caveat. He or she must feel welcomed, understood and loved. Without that, there’s no reason to remain in the church, and the experience of church — and by extension, of God — will quite likely be negative overall. (Again, this is a well-documented phenomenon.) That tempers my desire to celebrate.

Let us not commit sexual immorality as some of them did, and in a single day 23,000 people fell dead…. Now these things happened to them as examples, and they were written as a warning to us, on whom the ends of the ages have come. Therefore, whoever thinks he stands must be careful not to fall! No temptation has overtaken you except what is common to humanity. God is faithful and He will not allow you to be tempted beyond what you are able, but with the temptation He will also provide a way of escape, so that you are able to bear it.
1 Cor 10:8,11-13

Do you know know that the unjust will not inherit God’s kingdom? Do not be deceived: no sexually immoral person, idolaters, adulterers, male prostitutes, homosexuals, thieves, greedy people, drunkards, revilers, or swindlers will inherit God’s kingdom. Some of you were like this; but you were washed, you were sanctified, you were justified in the name of the Lord Jesus Christ and by the Spirit of our God.
1 Cor 6:9-11

My comment is this: being washed does away with the “identity” of being gay, and replaces it with the identity of being Christian. We are not defined by our temptations. Being tempted by homosexual desires does not make you gay. Just as being tempted to steal doesn’t make you a thief. Giving in to them does.

I think that every person struggles with temptations common to mankind. And every person should be loved and encouraged in the church to bear those temptations. God promises to grant us a way to bear them. But to continue to identify with the temptation and not with Christ is a weakness of faith.

We shouldn’t just be glad when the so-called Christian gays come to church, we should be glad when non-christian gays come to church. We should be glad when anyone comes to church…

Jesus… friend of sinners… our example…

Good words Dave. Regarding the above statement, however, I had to think about this on a little.

How many in our churches struggle with (or ignore) sin that they are not particularly determined to refrain from? Do we welcome them? If so, why would we isolate those who struggle with same-sex issues? I am reminded of what Jesus said about adultery and how we are guilty of it by merely looking and lusting. Sure it is easier to hide wandering eyes, but is that the point?

How would be answer the question if it were, ‘If a Christian man with is struggling to live within God’s sexual framework came to your church, would he or she be rejected, or welcomed?’

Is grace dependent on the particular sin?

Perhaps the practical pastoral question is, how do we shepherd a diverse community of people to Jesus in a messed up and confused world? Like the day when I was asked which bathroom a visiting transgender individual should use…